Tuesday, October 28, 2014


One of the discoveries I've had in life is that it can be very difficult to find and maintain meaningful friendships. Friendships built on something more than the convenience of a shared neighborhood, religion, etc...

It used to be that I could find immediate friends no matter where I lived, but growing up and moving to Phoenix where my husband and I knew exactly two people, didn't make finding friends an easy experience. And since we no longer used our previous network, it was now just the two of us in a city of over 4 million people.

Here are my tried and true tips for finding friends:

1) Get out and DO THINGS.
I joined a local running club with meetup.com. Although I didn't end up hitting it off with any of the group, it got me out there talking to people. However, I also began attending a few evening classes at my local YMCA and instead of immediately leaving when the class was done, I attempted to start up authentic conversations with others. Which leads me to tip #2.

2) Be brave.
More often than not, everyone feels a little awkward at social events The addage, "Fake it 'til you make it" is true and extremely applicable when it comes to meeting new people. Introduce yourself. Make eye contact. Smile. And when necessary, add yourself into conversations. Slowly, though. You don't want to scare anyone off. And that leads me to tip #3.

3) Infiltrate slowly.
Forming friendships is a process. It takes time. You can't expect to be a part of the inside jokes right away. You might be trying to form friendships with a group who have know each other for years. Be patient. Get invited to the events and get to know people. Eventually, throw a get together of your own.

In short, finding true friends takes time, just like any great relationship should. But it is definitely worth it when you find your tribe.

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